i am a computer lyrical gangsta.

welp kids. i am back. after a forced hiatus. dallas was good, for those who knew i went to dallas. i got to see my sister and her husband and their new apartment and their new furniture. i got to eat at pei wei too...quite possibly my favorite place to eat...if it weren't 5 hours away. and quasar took his first road trip. and a mighty good road trip at that. i got to dallas in less than 3/4 of a tank of gas. way to go quasar. way to go. i watched holes and i liked it a lot...but how can you not love a movie with the kid from even stevens. uh...if you watch that show...haha...umm. yeah. i got bronchitis (however you spell it) and watched a steady 6 hours of cribs yesterday morning. misty childress made the trek back to lubbock with us...and she drove my shift. i dont' have anything really exciting to say...and i do apologize for not posting the road trip from hell story that i said i would...but for those of you that went to five iron (and you know who you are)...you heard it already. i will think of a most creative story today, and will post it tomorrow. be on the look out!

news on the homefront. i have been self diagnosed with EEE.

What are the symptoms of Eastern Equine Encephalitis(EEE)?

Infection with Eastern equine encephalitis virus can cause a range of illnesses. Most people infected with the virus have no symptoms; others get only a mild flu-like illness with fever, headache, and a sore throat.

i got bit by a mosquito on tuesday. wednesday i woke up with a sore throat, and frequent stints of dizziness.

***********************************************

jennifer denise johnson speer. aka: jennifer jean, jenn, jenny, franz. the oldest of the johnson sisters, and also the only one that will ever be married. husband is timothy jason speer of shallowater. now resides in arlington. drives a saturn. known for impeccable taste and strong sense of humor. has a cat named boogs. he is the heavyweight champion of the kennel. he's part dog. timothy jason (referred to as tj) is quite the master chef. but jenny can make some mean frozen fries. things i have learned from jenny:

1) when jenny says to get off the phone, she means it. if you intend on disobeying her, make sure that you wear a hard hat.
2) if jenny says to come to her "garage" sale, be ready to be ripped off. she will try and sell you sheets of notebook paper and her own pennies. do not, i repeat, do not go to jenny's "garage" sales.
3) make sure that your carseat cover is firmly attached to your carseat before attempting to go to class. if you do not take this precautionary measure, you will forever regret the time you walked on campus with your carseat cover stuck between your back and your backpack.
4) never comb your long hair upside down and flip it up while you are under an overhead fan...that is turned on. you will have to run in circles while tying to hit the light switch.
5) never get in a cut down fight with jenny. you will most likely end up saying something really cool like "shut don't go up, airlplanes do. take my advice you shut up to. yeah!" never try to one up jenny. she will slaughter you. kill you. eat your head off.
6) do not drink more than one glass of the "punch" served at your friends shower. you will most likely get a buzz.
7) peppermints are the cure for gagginess.

if you aren't jenny, which only one of you will be, i am sure that this post is nonsense to you. if you don't know jenny, you have missed out. there are few people that will listen to you blab, that will watch a pbs special for 4 hours with you, that will go shopping with you anytime, even if you have to go to walmart at 1 in the morning. that is jenny. and i will see her and the tjster in t-minus 32 hours.


tomorrow there will be no shout outs and out shouts, but a story. a story of the roadtrip from hell. a story you will not soon forget.

molly.

things i know. i know that i am going to see five iron tomorrow in amarillo. i know that i am still thinking about going to nickel creek. i know that my dog broke my hand today. i know that i am going to dallas this weekend. i know that i suck at yahtzee. i know that molly needs new glasses. i know that pearce knows exactly what to say to make me change my mind. i know that i love becky so much that i will stay up until 1:30 just to talk to her. i know that adam thinks i am a sell out. i know that i still haven't gotten the gift from the 3rd floor. i know that becky turns 25 on friday. i know that ryan left today for cincinnati. i know that elise doesn't watch newlyweds. i know that i don't either. i know that i woke alison up when i called her this afternoon. i know that i took a spelling test and didn't do that bad. i know that sometimes work is really annoying. i know that becky is singing 99 bottles of beer right now. i know that i am going to kill her if she continues to.

98 bottles of beer on the wall..........

my weekend:

friday:

4:00PM - me and beck decide to skip out on work early.

4:15PM - arrive at 1C...pleasantly met by my bed. sleep until 7:00PM

7:00PM - wake up starving. go into kitchen and assist in making supper. ranch burgers. yum. and watched one fine day. yeah.

9:00PM - watch what not to wear and decide that i am going to start dressing really gross so you guys will turn me in...so i will get a $5,000 visa card with my name on it. and a makeover. a little humiliation for a lot of shopping.

10:00PM - start getting ready to crash boys night at 2915.

10:30PM - stop by 2515 first to say hi to our pal seth who we had made plans to hang out with.

11:00PM - go to 2915 and hang out with heather, the taylors (all three of them), molly, and the boys. halo. hmmmm.

12:30PM - depart for 1C.

12:45PM - crawl into bed. go to sleep.

saturday:

6:00AM - wake up to take becky to the church for a field trip.

6:30AM - get to the church and find that everyone has already left. drive back home.

7:00AM - fall asleep again.

11:00AM - wake up. starving. eat two bowls of fake cinammon toast crunch.

12:00PM - bring maggie over to my parents so she can play with tasha for the day. decide to go to grape days with the parents.

12:30PM - depart the parents to go to 1C for a much needed shower.

1:15PM - depart 1C for the parents.

2:00PM - depart for grape days at llano estacado winery. ate, drank, and was merry.

4:00PM - depart grape days for my grandma's house. mom fixes grandma's hair. i get the family drinks. watch some tv on grandma's bed.

5:00PM - go home. watch hope floats.

6:00PM - depart for the trook's. me and wesley had a date at 6:15PM.

9:30PM - depart the trook's for 1C.

10:00PM - go pick up maggie from the parents. steal the lord of the rings while i am there.

10:30PM - watch tbs...which i was way too into. decide to hand make a skirt.

12:30PM - go to bed.

sunday:

9:20AM - think i have slept in. wake up and work on skirt more while finishing the lord of the rings.

10:30AM - becky informs me that it is 10:30 and i am still in my pajamas. guess church is out of the question. continue sewing and watching the lord of the rings.

12:30PM - leave for parent's.

1:00PM - drive to sonic to get drinks for the fam.

1:10PM - eat some good home cooking. corn beef and cabbage. good ol' northern meal.

2:20PM - depart for ice cream shop. on the parent's. which automatically makes it better.

3:30PM - depart for 1C. take a nap after watching a sweet show called we built this city. that episode was about new york.

5:00PM - wake up because becky wanted to talk.

6:00PM - make ranch burgers again.

7:00PM - start getting ready for lipstock.

8:00PM - arrive at cactus theatre for some entertainment.

10:00PM - depart for 1C.

10:20PM - go jogging.

10:40PM - get back and sit while becky reads.

12:00PM - bed.

there you have it folks. my most eventful weekend full of tv watching and sleeping. and lots of departing!

life weighs heavy on my mind as of late. it seems sometimes that all i think i know has been called into question. scales and balances, equations and riddles, all leading to the conclusion that nothing is at it seems. when i think i am strong, i am staggering and crippled. when i feel i am grounded, i am wavering and unsettled. grasping at walls. clinging. bleeding. lost in the knowledge of who i was, and who i desire to be, is the reality of who i am. i fear for what is ahead. i long for what is behind. i loathe what is here, what is now.

grace come.

refresh what has been idle. cleanse what lies in filth. renew what wallows in death.

come quickly. for my need is great.

doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doooooooo....(funeral march)...

the love of my life is engaged. flowers and candy can be sent to Apt. 1C.

and in honor of this MOST unpleasant news, rebecca johnson has requested that i post reasons why i am still single.

1) more times than not, my wit and humor slaughter conversations. it's true.

2) maggie. period.

3) the fact that it is now wednesday...and i took my last shower on..........cough.........saturday.

4) the fact that i love to pick my nose. and am unashamed to admit so.

5) the fact that i enjoy being home alone. and the older i get, the less social i have become. if it weren't for becky, i would be someone's pet hermit.

and as this list has been discussed with becky, she informed me of this...and i quote...ahem..."there is no way to make a list kim. it's the things you do and say all day long that keep you single."

and to that i say, ouch.

an examination of my trash can at work:

--one empty 14 oz bag of halloween m&m's...plain.
--1 gross plate that had guacamole on it...from friday.
--4 empty coca-cola classic cans.
--6 empty packet of snack size m&m's...peanut.
--2 tootsie roll pop sticks...and wrappers.
--uh...make that 3.
--1 empty package of peanut butter crackers...there were 8 of them.
--2 empty packets of snack size m&m's...plain.
--1 empty minature 3 muskateer's...that i don't remember eating...but i wouldn't put it past myself.

halloween needs to hurry up an be over. this is getting out of hand.

STUFF...

if you eat guacamole and then eat some m&m's after...and drink some coke inbetween...the after taste is definately sausage.

i like using the word "busted." i laugh everytime.

if one gate doesn't succeed at keeping the dog out, try two.

going to bed with wet hair is never a good idea if you do not plan on rising early to fix it.

adam is going to be single the rest of his life. check out his blog to find out why.

JIB is me in boy form...and he has a new blog.

ahem. please give a warm round of applause for this weeks episode of "SHOUT OUTS AND OUT SHOUTS!!"

**********SHOUT OUTS**********

--i would like to give my first shout out to a miss molly williams, who made me talk to the love of my life...thank you for sticking your neck out for me.

--i would like to give a shout out to subtracting your deposit, instead of adding it, and therefore discovering you have $30.00 more than you thought you did. sufficient funds for cleaning supplies, gas, and birthday dinner for robyn.

--i would like to give a shout out to my dog, maggie, who has neither pooped nor peed in the house in three straight days. good thing, cause i only have about 1/3 of a roll of paper towels left.

--i would like to give a shout out to becky for giving me $.50 for a coke...i mean a water. yeah...water is really expensive here at national travel systems. yeah, coke is from the devil.

--i would like to give a shout out to the fact that robyn and adrianne will be traveling to l-town today. and maybe a mr. ryan henry on sunday. old friends. they're a good thing.

--i would like to give a shout out to free food, free laundry, and the viewing of the lord of the rings that will be enjoyed by myself and a miss rebecca johnson tonight at the parent's.

--i would like to give a shout out to having candy at work.

**********OUT SHOUTS**********

--i would like to give an out shout to a miss molly williams for humiliating me by making me talk to the love of my life. yeah, don't even talk about saying things that shouldn't be said.

--i would like to give an out shout to the fact that today is thursday...not friday.

--i would like to give an out shout to the fact that when i went to type friday, i automatically typed fries. cooooooool fatty.

--i would like to give an out shout to becky getting poop under the buckle of my birks. not her own poop. poop from 2915. no, not any of their poop. we don't quite know who's poop it is. but none the less...it left it's mark on my shoe...and the rag she "cleaned" it off with. is it really considered cleaning if it's still there when you are done?

--i would like to give an out shout to cleaning the house for hours, and having it smell like kitty litter when you walk in a mere 12 hours later. please don't stop coming over because of that. we try. we really try.

--i would like to give an out shout to getting paid to get fatter.

well, until next time...

since i figure becky will tell everyone anyways...i almost died yesterday. so, here is the story...from my perspective.

10:58. late for church already. closing the door, i squeeze in the normal "be good" to my dog, hoping that one day she will actually understand what i am saying...and decide to do so. door locked. check. bible in left hand. check. keys in my right hand. check. so, i start heading down the stairs. a steady pace. until.........du du duuuuuhhhhh...my foot slips off one of the stairs, completely destroying my stair rhythm, and causing me to stumble...head first down the stairs. luckily for me...i have ridiculously sweet reflexes, and DO NOT fall...but jump stairs like three and four at a time...using no hands...in a skirt...all the while, thinking to myself, "why isn't becky freaking out that i am about to die here?" i make it to the end of the stairs, but hitting level ground caused me to jerk forward, so i now am bent in half, running...with nothing to save me from my dreadful fate...the pavement. but oh. God shone his face on me. and there...three parking spaces over...stood quasar. he was my savior...if only i could make it to him. trot, trot, trot. huge gigantic leaps. and smack. right into his side door. but no fall. i look in the window...and there becky sits. buckled into her seat. and me still thinking, "why didn't she come help me."

so. there you have it. my side of the story. and for all those wondering, like myself, "why didn't she help me?", here is her side of the story.

10:58. late again because i always have to wait on kim. so, i head down to the car, get in...searching through the cd's. and i look up to kim coming from the bottom stair, head first, running at the car. or more like, bent over and flailing. and all i can think when she hits the car is, "she's gonna scratch the car with her keys!!" but then i realized what happened and started cracking up. still no sympathy from me. it was too funny. i wish it would happen again.

and, since this is my time on the blog, molly drooled on herself at the symphony yesterday. i couldn't let it go unnoticed.

so, there you have it folks. both sides of the story. and a little extra. so, hopefully, none of you ever start to die when becky is around. she will only be thinking of 1) what music you are going to listen to at the funeral, 2) who will get your new car, that better not have any scratches, and 3) when she will be amused like that again.

DID YOU KNOW??!!?? (these interesting facts brought to you by m&m's. the snack size.)

--an ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. either their eye is really big, or they are really dumb. but how big does your brain really have to be to eat, sleep, and run.

--a sneeze can reach speeds of 200 miles per hour. that's faster than a tornado people, and it's coming out of your mouth/nose.

--85% of the population can curl their tongue into a "u". i can make my tongue vibrate, and i have yet to meet someone else who can too.

--the scientific name for stinky feet in bromhidrosis. hey, it's from a pack of m&m's. kids think that this kind of stuff is funny.

--a giraffe's tongues in almost two feet long. that's almost as long as one of my stumpy legs.

--the width of your armspan is equal to your height. and thanks to pretty woman, i know that your foot is as long as your elbow to your wrist. weird how bodies are so symmetrical.

--an octopus has three hearts. so, being the nerd that i was, i wanted to find out why. just like i did with the snails. so here are some facts about octopuseseseseses..es, that i found on my own...no m&m's needed.

---and octopus can squeeze through a hole the size of it's eyeball. that's stinkin' talent. have you seen them with their 8 legs and their fat ol' head.

---an octopus can kill a shark. maybe that is why their heads are so big! hahahaha!!

---two of their hearts pump blood into gills, and one pumps it through the rest of the body. if i was an octopus, my main heart would be for Jesus, and then there would be one for chris, and then there would be one for hogan.

---the largest octopus (which i might add is in the north pacific ocean) may grow over 30 ft. that's like three stories!!

---octopuseseseseses...es, unlike ostriches, have the most complex brains of any invertebrates. they have long and short term memory, and solve things by trial and error. i made fun of the size of their heads before i was aware of their genius.

---if an octopus is scared, it turns white. if it's mad, it turns red. it's a walking, talking mood ring.

---only 1 or 2 of 200,000 eggs will survive to adulthood. and if they are girls, they die after having babies because they won't eat. life sucks for the octopus. but they are awfully interesting.

i'll call myself on it. octopus gurnk!

"i've finally found the love...of a lifetime." let him hereby be known as "safe crush."

i was going to post that i was glad that sean was back...but t beat me to it. oh well. it is indeed good to have you back sean.

i definately have posters block today...and i already did my back up "shout outs and out shouts." sorry alison. i let you down. if you never come back again, i will understand.