life weighs heavy on my mind as of late. it seems sometimes that all i think i know has been called into question. scales and balances, equations and riddles, all leading to the conclusion that nothing is at it seems. when i think i am strong, i am staggering and crippled. when i feel i am grounded, i am wavering and unsettled. grasping at walls. clinging. bleeding. lost in the knowledge of who i was, and who i desire to be, is the reality of who i am. i fear for what is ahead. i long for what is behind. i loathe what is here, what is now.

grace come.

refresh what has been idle. cleanse what lies in filth. renew what wallows in death.

come quickly. for my need is great.