ok, first of all, i don't appreciate the fact that everytime i go to my blog, the advertisements on my blog are like "meet a great man"..."how to make dating exciting"..."you are a single loser"...

and on to bigger and better things...
every once in a while, i hit a period in my life when i feel that i have to have my entire life figured out. today is one of those days. it's hard for me not to try to take control of my own life...to trust in this unseen God, who is up in heaven working away, without me having the slightest clue of where this life is going. don't get me wrong, i am thankful that He has it all under control, but it's hard for me to trust that the Lord will work things out, and will give me better than what i am so adament about wanting. so here are my thoughts...i am no theologin, but here are my issues...i have a hard time sometimes praying about things, because i feel that no matter how hard i pray, sometimes the road is only a one-way. and then i think i could bug the crap out of God, like the parable of the persistent widow, but then i have become the child begging to touch the stove, and God becomes the parent saying, "she'll never learn unless i give her her way...", and so he does. and i get burned all the same. why am i so adament about taking control, why do i insist on telling God what would be best for me, instead of sitting and listening to his promises...the promise that He knows the plans He has for me...and they are good and perfect. anyhoo...this is me...knowing the praticality of my previous statement, and still fighting an inpractical war...the war that i think that i know what's best for me. if in fact i did, i would be married to jerome madrid (who i don't think has grown at all since 6th grade, when i begged the Lord daily for him to notice the rollypolly known as kim), driving a dodge ram (jr. high...boy was i off?), with two sets of twins (Lord help us all), and a graduate of a&m (me? graduate? and then i found $100).