okay. i am not like adam. i am not a man of my word. nor am i a man. needless to say, i did not post shout outs and out shouts on friday. my humblest apologizes. i was going to post "10 ways to know that you are a jerk in the gym," which happened to be msn's feature today, but instead, i will try to make amends with you, my faithful readers. so, here you go. the belated "SHOUT OUTS AND OUT SHOUTS!!"

-- i want to give a shout out to misty childress for springing for the chili's meal last night. it was a great meal indeed. chips and a chocolate shake. heaven.

-- i want to give a shout out to old friends coming into town for a day. even if you have only talked to each other's voicemail since april.

-- i want to give a shout out to communion, and the reason we take it. there is no other act that can so easily humble you, and cause you to celebrate your humility, all in one accord.

-- i want to give a shout out to getting paid in two days. no need for explination.

OUT SHOUTS

-- i want to give an out shout to being lactose intolerant. although i ate that chocolate shake at chili's for free, i paid for it later.

-- i want to give an out shout to not looking at the lights at the bank. and for pushing the button twice...only to back up and see that the light is indeed red. the universal sign for "don't use this line."

-- i want to give an outshout to my paycheck already being completely used up, even though it has not reached my bank yet.

-- i want to give an out shout to buying a three pack of paper towels, and getting them home, and noticing that you bought 6 rolls of toilet paper. no wonder the "three pack of paper towels" was cheaper than the one pack. i thought i was being a good shopper. eeeeh. wrong.

-- i want to give an out shout to the fact that i get dumber everyday. i was told today that you don't spell handling "handeling", and that amends is not spelled, or said "amense."

and there you have it folks. episode two of "SHOUT OUTS AND OUT SHOUTS!" for a copy of this transcript, copy and paste it to a word document, and then push print. and then send me $1.50.