so, i am sitting here at work, crocheting a blanket, singing to myself "i'm forgettable...in everyway" when it dawns on me how pathetic my "love" life has been. and therefore, here is a timeline of my "love" life. some of the stories you may have heard...some you may not. have a laugh...on me.

8th grade: yeah, so at this point, i have loved matthew cottrell for a good two years. we ride together all the way to camp. and then he asks me to save him a seat at dinner, and i call my mom to come pick me up from camp. 9 hours away. scaredy-cat stage.

9th grade: first date. david dailey. a boy i grew up with. so, it's a double date. he picks me up in his car, and his car seat keeps shedding on me. serious chunks of that big tan colored padding all over my outfit. a two hour wait. then we sit down, and we have nothing to talk about. i already know EVERYTHING about this kid. so, i talk to the date of the person i am with. cool. never going out with best friend from childhood again stage.

10th grade: nothing. except for chris kennedy (grubby to adam hoover) who should also be noted in 8th, 9th, 11th, and 12th. i always said no. i'm invisible stage.

11th grade: nothing. too wrapped up in studying for the SAT and taking dual credit classes. yeah. i was that kid. too busy trying to get into harvard stage.

12th grade: finally. something. names will be excluded from here on out to protect the other party. i go on a date. with a sophomore. that can't drive. so, i pick him up. can't believe i sinking to this level stage.

freshman year of college: i have a crush on a boy. a big crush. a "i am not going to my out of town school of choice for this boy" crush. yeah, so we are talking one day, and he says "i am a loser." i proceed to say "i think you are awesome." I THINK YOU ARE AWESOME???!!!??? yeah. but it doesn't end there. i say it again. "really, i think you are awesome." and there we sit. in silence. minutes pass. silence. loser, loser, loser stage.

sophomore year of college: i have a boyfriend that i can't call my boyfriend. long story. yeah. not that that is not cool enough in itself...but i call him one day, and he says "hey lauren!" lauren? hmm. so i say, "uh. this is kim." and four months later, him and lauren are engaged. no, not me...the real lauren. i am an idiot stage.

at this point, i can't go by years of school anymore, because i dropped out. but here is how it continues.

i have another boyfriend that i can't call my boyfriend. cool. those are the best. go away for the summer, and he's engaged 5 months later. i am STILL an idiot stage.

dating a boy. a boy i met in the above mentioned summer. he loves music. he's funny. he's pretty cute. he's mountainey...if that is a word. yeah. he's also a weirdo. we go to a movie. he walks in front of me the whole time. the lights of the movie won't turn off. he tells me to go tell someone. for some odd reason, we continue dating. i want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. we go out to dinner. go see a movie, and he nudges me to go buy my own ticket. and still he proceeds to walk in front of me. so much so, that when i see a friend of mine, and stop to talk to them, it takes him a good 30 paces to realize that i am not with him. yeah. it was over. the never giving anyone the benefit of the doubt again stage.

another guy. love his company. love it. we go out...sort of. and he tells me "you know i am moving right?" ouch. no. i was unaware. you could have told me four months ago before i planned our wedding!! the beginning of the i am going to be single the rest of my life stage.

and so, new guy comes in. we'd be great. we've hung out at least 5 times in the past 5 days. and last night he proceeded to ask me my name. the i'm forgettable stage and stage two of i am going to be single the rest of my life.

so, as of saturday, my spinster life will have begun. my dog and i will be moving in with my sister and her cat (who also has a similar "love" life), where we will live happily ever after crocheting and playing skip-bo.