curses on tami hernandez's head. i have the mother ship fever blister on my bottom lip...it almost looks like i got punched there. oh the disgrace. so...at this moment in time, i want to avoid all social activities to save face...this would be the day that i would wear a bag over my head. oh yes it would be. and what's worse...i have a date tonight...there is no hiding in a bag on a date if you are trying to ensure another one. moving on...

i have a new defense for people that are mean to me on the phone...i make my voice sound extra sugar sweet and little, so they feel like a jerk for being rude to the "sweetest girl alive!!" ...i put that in quotes so i could explain the voice that was in my head...it's the aunt bertha voice...the pinch your cheeks really hard voice...the i am about to kiss all over your face with beaming pink lipstick voice...

and now, i sit back, reflecting on my post, and i am reminded of chris farley in almost heroes...he talks of his brother doing all of this gross stuff, and later he says, "i don't even have a brother. really. it was me!!" so, i feel the need to tell you all, that i don't even have an aunt bertha........"or a date." once again, let me describe this voice...it's the i'm sorry i lied voice...the i am gonna let you borrow that even though i don't want to voice...the you are getting on my nerves but i am gonna act interested in what you are saying anyways voice...the last two, of which i have never used. promise. especially when ryan talks about his newest issue of national geographic, and pearce talks about his newest sci fi thriller/game. never used them.

this is me, making my exit. my long hair flowing behind me...my steps petite, yet purposeful.

"i would like to thank the academy for this award!! and all of my blogging friends who have supported me! i couldn't have done it without you!"