So, let's talk about this...I got a dog...and as of yet, she really is like a baby...here is how my morning started.

5:00AM - I awake to my dog's high pitched bark...in my ear...so I get up, thinking to myself, maybe she wants out. So, I get out of my warm cocoon, and open the back door for her, only to have her sit there and cock her head back and forth. Here is where I start to feel annoyed. So, being the genius that I am, I decide to feed her.

5:20AM - The food only worked for twenty minutes. I am now awake again to high pitched barking...in my ear...and really annoyed. So, once again, I use my reasoning, and say to myself, "Maybe she wants out..." So, once again, I leave my warm bed to open the back door to cold, cold air. This time she goes outside. And plays. Now I am being to have murdurous thoughts. I decide to kill sometime, and go to the bathroom myself...inside, not outside with her.

5:29 - I have been successful in retreiving my dog from outside...lights are out...bed is warm...I think to myself, "Ah, finally some sleep," and also, "I am going to post about this annoying incident."

5:32 - Bark! Bark! Bark! What could she possibly want now??!!?? I decide, that since I live with my parents, I will let her into their room...she is with them most of the time anyways...back to bed.

5:33 - Really cool. She is now scratching on their door, and barking. Surely now, my parents will kill me, but I will definately make sure that they allow me to get my hands on her first. I get up...again...to let her out. This time, she actually does something...besides play.

5:35 - With things how they should be, Maggie is in my parents room, and I in my bed, I have one thing to say...anyone want a dog??!!??

I'll kill everyone for that.

Oh, and my tire infact fought the good fight...although my alignment didn't.

OK, cool story. So, I am driving back to work after lunch...thinking to myself. There I am in my 1990 Ford Tempo thinking how I want a coke...the lightbulb over my head turns on as I remember that I have change in my wallet from a transaction I made yesterday. So, being the confident driver that I am, I begin to dig in my wallet for a mere .50 cents, and to my surprise, I look up about .02 seconds before I smack into a curb...on my own block. Cool. So here I sit at work...wondering what the state of my tire will be when I come out...will it be flat?...will it have fought the good fight and won? tune in tomorrow for how my wheel turns...or does it??!!??

uh...it is thursday morning...and i don't have a ton to say. last night, i watched kiss me kate on pbs last night..and have to admit that i enjoyed it. anywho...since i think that this is the blog way of pretending like you have something to post, but you are really clueless as of what to say...i will tell you what i am listening to right now...
Brand New....Your Favorite Weapon (which can always be found in my stereo)....The Get Up Kids....Something to Write Home About....Switchfoot....The Legend of Chin....Furthur Seems Forever....The Moon is Down...(uh, i tried to make it in a list format...but no clue...couldn't do it without pearce's help)
there...i was successful in posting when i had absolutely nothing to talk about...and i would be surprised if anyone had anything to post about this...so, you might want to go ahead and say "and then i found $100" now.

Oh...and to any girls that are having problems with their blog...call on Pearce...he is the big strong man that fixed mine...all I had to do was pout and whine (which I apparently am pretty good at...), and he did it for me...I didn't even have to help. Kinda like if you wait long enough after your mom tells you to do something...she will probably do it herself...and do it, not only faster, but much better than you would ever attempt to do it...yep, you heard it here, I am the best daughter on the face of the earth.

Okay, let's see...
It's four frickin' degrees outside. Under our house it's colder... the mice
are wearing moonboots and Red River facemasks. Even the roaches have mittens
and tight little sweaters that say "rockstar," and "10," and other
sassy-cool stuff. Our bathroom has tile floors. This means that when you
step out of the shower, if your foot misses the bathmat by even an inch, you
are instantly stuck to the floor like a giant tongue on a telephone pole,
the cold causing a dull ache in your leg. So today I'm standing there
hopping around on the tile floor while I wait for the water to warm up for a
shower.
And I wait.
And I hop.
And I wait.
Hopping.
Waiting.
Of course I left my clothes -socks included- in my room, the warmest in the
house (a not so sweltering 67 degrees, on account of air vents the size of
747 turbines) and have run to stand in front of the little floor heater in
the bathroom (49 degrees, on account that it is next to the hallway (-13
degrees, on account of some voodoo bad juju and just the sadistic cruelty of
nature... our own little Tibet) which is between the bathroom and my
bedroom). Well, by the time I'm numb up to my ribcage from the creeping cold
of the floor I start to realize that this whole warm water idea is not going
to happen. Just as I am about to lose consciousness and my lips turn blue I
have to streak through Tibet to my room, put on my clothes which are now
about the temperature and texture of Flav-o-Ice Pops and dash to check our
water heater (which is outside in a separate unheated building (8 degrees,
on account of God must think it's funny that our hallway is colder than our
shed)) only to discover that it has become a small, white-trash version of
the fountain at the Bellagio.
Now my feet are wet.
But the icicles are pretty.
Then I have to search for tools to shut off the water in the alley. Once I
find some in the corner of the shed, I grab them and sprint for the alley.
As I run penguinlike, because of the 35 pound crescent wrench in one hand,
it hits me that each chunk of metal I'm grasping is roughly the temperature
of liquid Nitrogen... say, oh, -322 degrees. By the time I've dug through
the garbage in the alley to find the buried rusty, muddy shut-off valve I'm
numb and covered in dirt, cold sweat, mud, rusty water, I think some 1994
Snapple, and a couple of pine needles. I shut off the water to our house
(because the valves to the water heater itself don't work) only to realize
that at the start of all this, my one single desire was to be clean. Now
I've just successfully, victoriously cut off all access to water and I look
and smell like a crocodile wrestler.
My keyboard is going to need to be cleaned.
So how are you?

OK...like i said in my first post...not so computer savvy...I don't know how to make it an "interactive" blog...write me at justaweirdkid@hotmail.com if you know how to set it up so you can comment...

Welp, I did it. I have done maybe the worst thing ever...I, Kimberly Jean Johnson, have created a blog. And to protect myself from having to say it after every post, I titled it, "and then I found $100." So, if you will, after every post, say outloud, "and then I found $100," I believe that my posts will be not only funnier, but also more meaningful. I am not very computer savvy, so I may have one of the most boring posts imaginable. Hope that appeals to some...
Please come back...