dear kimberly jean johnson,
you have officially been terminated from your position of friend for the following reasons:

1. does not answer phone calls.
2. does not call back.
3. does not call to see how people are doing.

if you would like to be reconsidered for this job, please work on improving reasons 1-3 and apply again.

thank you very much,
insert your name here,
friend contractor

ps - you could probably work on your punctuality and hygiene too.