these emotions are new, and i don't like them. helplessness? is this what that feels like? apathy. i know that feeling full well, but this is such a new dynamic of it. an angry apathy. run? no. there is such a strong pull, one that directly opposes the apathy that runs so deep right now. a relentless conflict, much like our war with the flesh...and pressing on is the only way through. so press on i will. through anger, and grief, and sadness that i have never known. fighting and letting go. i don't know which one will be harder.