I am at a loss for words. I am in awe of how lost the lost are, and yet, how lost i find myself somtimes. How can I lead someone to Christ when I do not even know the direction? How can I be a light that is shown, if I do not have the fuel? It just goes to show that all that happens, and light that is shown or path that is chosen, has been orchestrated and goverened by none other than God. None other than God. Looking in my own life, it's hard to see resemblence of Christ...how can someone looking to point out my spiritual flaws, find anything more than what they are searching for?? Do I give them reason to search for something else?? Does my lack of this depict the fact that I myself do not completely believe in the transforming power of grace?? I am a walking contradiction...as we all are. I am a sinner saved by grace, enslaved by sin. It is very much still my master, although my bonds have already been paid in full. Sometimes I feel that all I do is bring disgrace to the name of Christ, and still He beckons me on. Still he calls me from the darkness, directs my feet, and rejoices over me all the while. My only remaining question is, "Father, why have you NOT forsaken me??" I deserve death, He gave life. I deserve abandonment, He gives faithfulness. For my wandering feet, He gives a straight and narrow path...boundaries clearly laid out. For the darkness of the world, He made me the light. For all that I am comes from Him, and all that I am not, He is. Can I be found in Him, when He cannot be found in me?? As illogical as it is, yes. Knowing all of my shortcomings, my failures, my flaws, He made me His bride. He chose me to bear His name.

this has been a day in the life and mind of kim johnson. thanks for listening. tune in next week, when i might post again.