i think one of the hardest commands that we have is not to love our enemies, or to honor our father and mother, but rather to not worry.

i think personally, this is one of my greatest struggles. i always want to have everything figured out...to have organized to the last minute, the last dime, the last detail.

i guess it just comes down to the fact that i want control. i reason with myself that it's not bad to plan, but my planning becomes a maze of dead ends. there is only one way out, and it's not how i planned, so it's not an option.

reliance stretches. and hurts. and is necessary.

finding peace in the reliance...that's a completely different issue in itself. we were never promised comfort. but we were promised strength, and a never ending cup of strength at that. and grace. grace for when i try to plan my life from beginning to end...and fail. again.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."