so, i started my cake class last week. i just thought i would share my pictures with all of you.


side view 


top view 

ah. i am so proud.

i hereby dedicate this post to a one matty riley and our bathroom story bond.

yosemite. 2002. my friends bj and josh worked really early in the morning at housekeeping. they always insisted on waking me up in the mornings to go eat with them at the curry cafeteria...which always resulted in the "curry scurry"...but that is another bathroom story for another time. for those of you who don't know...i don't wake up too easily. and this morning was even worse. there had been a fire, and since we were in the valley, the smoke just kind of hung out there. so not only was a really tired, but it also stung to open your eyes. so, we get to the cafeteria and i have to go do my morning pee (don't be grossed out, everyone has a morning pee). the curry cafeteria shared a bathroom with the bar, and since it was yosemite, the only things that ever went on their were sex, drugs, and heavy drinking. so, i go into the bathroom and slip. no big deal. bathrooms are normally semi-wet and slippery. but then i look down...and what do i see? a turd. a human turd. with my flipflop smear in it. and then i cried. not only was i really tired but i also had stepped in human poop.

so there you have it. and matty, now you know my story about the time i stepped in human poop.

dear kimberly jean johnson,
you have officially been terminated from your position of friend for the following reasons:

1. does not answer phone calls.
2. does not call back.
3. does not call to see how people are doing.

if you would like to be reconsidered for this job, please work on improving reasons 1-3 and apply again.

thank you very much,
insert your name here,
friend contractor

ps - you could probably work on your punctuality and hygiene too.

even though that last post was all stuff that i love, i didn't love the post itself, so here we go with a new post.

apparently, tonite was my first night to EVER shave. 30 minutes later, and my legs have just finished bleeding. i knicked myself like 6 times. i am almost 24...how many years have i been shaving? i mean seriously. i think i shaved better the first time i was allowed to shave.

today i started my second to LAST class at texas culinary academy. the schedule is as follows. 6 weeks of this class. 8 sweet, sweet days in cali, 6 weeks of my last class, becky's wedding. and then my life is over.

not really...but that's all i care about right now...minus the "6 weeks of this class...6 weeks of my last class" blah, blah, blah.

but for all of those attending becky's wedding, i will be making the wedding cake...and singing. what a treat. whoever said that august 20th is becky's day was wrong. apparently, it's all about me...as well it should be. i'm marvelous. and emily said i was hot.

alright kids...now that the bleeding has stopped, i'm off to bed. until next time.

things i love:

orbit spearment gum
california pizza kitchen five cheese and tomato pizza
myspace

friends 
national parks
camping
converse
sleeping
my bible

cookies eaten: 3

calories per cookie: 160 (yikes!)

calories burned while running two miles: 130

that's right. 20 minutes of running, and i didn't even burn off one cookie. if that doesn't make me stop...working out...i don't know what will. you thought i was going to say stop eating cookies. foolish little children. that will never happen.

first of all,happy birthday pearce!

second of all, i just want to let everyone know that i am not the loser in my family anymore. i have found the person i am going to marry.


yes. that's him. mr. ryan adams. 

so, i'm going to register today. finally!

for everyone that is feeling regret right now for not getting to me first (and i'm sure there are many of you), you too could have had me if you wore converse and had a fohawk.

oops, i did it again. 

thank you all for your input. it seems that all, except jill, are in favor of my new facial piercing. i will post a picture when i actually get it done. i'll admit that i am a tad nervous about this one...because i read up on it. i should NOT have done that. that's what i get for reading. i guess it's my own fault.

on to bigger and better things. becky and jib registered today, and i find that it's imperative that i get engaged now so i too can register and have all of my family and friends buy me all new house stuff. now that is what i am talking about. why haven't i done that earlier? oh yeah...i've never been engaged. so...anyone want to propose? i wear a size 6 ring...and just don't make the diamond too big. i still want to be able to stick my hands in my pockets.

oh. and sonic totally forgot to give me a straw. what a bummer.

i'm having a dilemma.

should i get my lip pierced? i've been debating.

let me know what you think.

but keep this in mind. that would be two, count 'em two, facial piercings.

alright. let me hear it.

i would like to be the first to present to you my new used bike...


monterey. 

and pay no attention to that date in the corner. it was so tonight.

well, to further prove that i am nothing in my family and i do nothing for my family, i have more exciting news...of course, not concerning me. my sister and brother-in-law are going to be parents! that's right folks, i am going to be an aunt! i just realized that i hadn't posted about this at all, and was frightened by the idea that i was already neglecting my niece/nephew. (i'm sorry that i am an unfit aunt, jenn. i know you are reading this you lurker you.) they don't know the sex of the baby yet, but i am gonna go ahead and guess that it is a girl or a boy. just a wild guess. so here they are...


the soon to be parents. 

you might be asking..."what's going on in your life, kim?" well, i will tell you. last sunday, i pinched my finger in a folding chair, and i got a blood blister. it's still there. i would show you a picture, but unfortunately, i don't have one. and it's on my middle finger anyways, and i don't want such vulgarity on my blog.

and...there you have it. off to take a shower, for it has been faaaaaaar too long.