such is my life.

January 26, 2004

i just read regan's blog, and my blog is officially for the birds.



hiatus.

January 23, 2004

i am a five year old boy.

January 22, 2004

here is a frightening fact i just realized about myself:

when i stare...my eyes cross.

is that normal? i gotta look like mike myers in view from the top. or crazy eyes in mr.deeds. i think that crossed eyes is becoming a fad on tv and movies. in a few years we'll be saying, "oh, yeah, there's the token crossed eyes guy/girl." who knows...maybe i will be one of them.

January 20, 2004

confession:

once, i requested a radio station to play "don't take the girl." ah. i feel much better having said that outloud. it was the only song i have ever requested, and because of the shame i have felt for years for not only being dorky enough to request a song, but also that the song was country, it shall be my last.

January 19, 2004

for all those that are wondering, i did get to see drew this weekend. and thanks the melisa, i saw him twice. i welcome any ideas on how to strike conversation/propose to him without seeming aggressive. thank you.

January 13, 2004

places i've been:

texas
new mexico
mexico
tennessee
missouri
kentucky
california
nevada
wyoming
colorado

places i've driven through but not stayed in:

kansas
oklahoma
arkansas
indiana
arizona

places i want to go:

washington
oregon
new york
france (where i might move)
italy
ireland
england

i was going to give reasons for why i wanted to go everywhere, but why would you not want to go somewhere. and as for why i was there...typical things...family vacation, music festivals, and work. but now you all know a little bit more about me.

January 09, 2004

episode two: engagement

upon hearing that her friend has gotten engaged, a girl will immediately say, "so, let me see the ring." ooohs and awes will directly follow, along with thoughts similar to these; "that ring would look really good on my finger.", "i wonder what my ring will look like.", "i would like this size, cut, blah blah blah." boys on the other hand, will hear of the engagement and say "cool." until they become sweaty and fidgety because of their realization that they too might have to propose to a girl one day. so, let me further expand on this idea...it looks very similar to the opening scene in the lord of the rings: the two towers. your girl wants a ring. you know she wants a ring. so what do you do? you take out your sword and tell her if she talks about a ring one more time, you will slit her throat. so. she crys. and then you pity her, and eventually give her a ring...but not without a fight. so there you have it...the difference between guys and girls on engagement. and also, this will no longer be called "the difference between guys and girls." let it be known that i have hereby renamed it "guys on the other hand."

January 08, 2004

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GUYS AND GIRLS
written by kimberly johnson

episode one: daydreams

in a normal day, a girl will daydream about the boy that she has a crush on coming into her work with 7 dozen of her favorite flowers...a flower for everytime he thought of her. she will makeup senerios of romance and love, family and homes. boys on the other hand, will daydream about killing every human being with the power they withhold beneath their cuffed sleeves and tailored pants. the power of an atomic bomb. for a perfect example, refer to this.

stayed tuned for episode two of "THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GUYS AND GIRLS!"

January 05, 2004

HAROLD LIVES!

January 01, 2004

ah. it's finally 2004. my new year's resolution...to completely forget about 2003. i mean really, did anything even slightly exciting happen to me in 2004? oh. i did get a new car. and in return, will be in debt for the next five years. and folks...that may be all. a piece of metal that now owns my soul.

but anyways. last night. new year's eve. ah. many laughs due to the stupidity of others. this one guy on dick clark (no...i was not home watching dick clark...i...uh...read about it...yeah) was doing two, zero, zero, three with his fingers into the camara. too bad it is 2004, and he realized it halfway through his 3 seconds of fame. a shame really. his friends will probably never let him live that one down. and then there was lyle. ah. lyle. cable access lyle. i am shamefaced for him even while i write this. and what's even better, he is my dad's neighbor. all morning i have been sitting in the office, windows open, waiting for a glimpse of cable access lyle. no sign of him yet. he sang this awful version of some frank sinatra song, winking, swaying. but then. oh then. the song ended and he cocked his head back and kicked up one leg. need i say more? no.

happy new year! *cock my head bad and kick up one leg*