In honor of the upcoming holiday, here is a cheesy Thanksgiving story...

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING GUYS!

32 new emails, and none of them are from anyone that i know. sad day.

yesterday, i gave away my baby. that's right. maggie got a new home with a couple from iowa. i am still sad....

do do do doooooooo! a new post. aren't you all so excited. i thought a lot about this post this weekend. since the holidays are upon us, i decided to post some memories. if we were in the dark crystal, this would be called dream fasting.

--i got strep throat on thanksgiving in elementary school sometime. i remember everyone is being a family in the kitchen, cooking, eating, having a good time, and i am stuck in bed watching some faggy movie with some pilgrim mouse.

okay, that thanksgiving story sucked. what else do you do on thanksgiving besides stuff your face? so...i am going to jump the gun and post about christmas memories. no. scratch that. bad christmas gifts.

--at my old job, we had a secret santa something or other. you made a list of all your "favorites" and each week was a different favorite. so....when i said that my favorite nut was an almond, i got two bags of cheap peanuts. i think that was the only thing that sort of resembled my favorites. i also got some potted plant that looked only fitting to go on the back of your toilet. and then there was the picture album...with a stork and new baby written everywhere. geez. that was the suckiest secret santa month ever!

--back in the day, cabbage patch kids were seriously cool. and hard to get. being that there were three girls in the family...and my parents were broke, a third c.p.k. was a ridiculous idea. so...an imposter was bought and given to the youngest child. me. it had a nose like michael jackson and its arms were like ralphie's in the christmas story...they wouldn't go down. i noted this right off the back. i am pretty sure that i said something like..."this is fake you &*#$R%R#(&$*^!" looking back, i am sad that i was such a jerk, and feel that it is imperative that i never have children.

--dating a boy. here comes christmas. i buy him a $30.00 gift...bounce the check...end up paying $120.00 for the gift. but that isn't that bad part. being the fisher that he is, he makes me a fly. that's right. i got a fly for christmas, in a frame. the title of the fly...deceiver...and it says that. sidenote: i did love this when i got it...i thought is was cute. BUT looking back...i think...yikes........

welp, that's all i've got right now. please, feel free to add if you have any bad gifts, or great memories.

until next time...

BUSTED!!

--when your fingers are orange because of your cheetos binge...BUSTED!

--when you call someone else the name of your crush...BUSTED!

--when your mouth is red from your make-out session...BUSTED!

--when someone catches you leaving the bathroom with a mysterious cloud behind you...BUSTED!

-when the music abruptly stops and you continue singing...BUSTED!

-when your face is red from the zits you have been popping...BUSTED!

--when you do a rockstar jump with your air guitar and your roommate walks in on you...BUSTED!

--when you fart while you are babysitting and the parents drive up the second it escapes...BUSTED!

elf. tonight. 10:20. tinseltown. who's in?

my tent is trashed. some weird homemade bunk bed and 5 dressers. we actually have a three person tent, but because some fire code, there were only two allowed. tent #21 is the suite of all the the tents. i am still waiting for the boxes i shipped here the day before i came. they have my bedding, so for now, it is me and my sleeping bag. me and shannon take down the makeshift bunkbed and arrange everything the way we want it. this is home for the next few weeks.

everyone signed up for the meal plan. $48.00 a week, all meals paid for. i can't decide if it is a deal or not. we go to curry cafeteria. the taco stand is the only safe place there. and of course, the desserts.

katie, bj, rob and i decide to ride the bus system to the lower falls hike. the shuttle bus goes everywhere if you are content to ride it for 45 minutes. boystown has two stops. stop 14 is on one side of the street and stop 20 on the other. lower falls is stop number 6. we decide to take the long route and get on at stop 14.

the hike is really more like a walk. 10 minutes up a gradual incline. easy as can be. the falls are overflowing. it is late may and there is still a lot of snow to melt and make it's way to the falls in the valley. if we stay here too long, we will be drenched.

we have been at the bus stop for a good 20 minutes. the bus is supposed to be here by now. we go look at the sign of the approximate times, and apparently, the bus stops going to this bus stop at 8:30, and it is now 9:00. we start walking. unaware of where we are, or when we will get back home.

my body is not used to the time change. everyone wakes up early, but i don't. there is no need. i have nothing to get ready with. therefore, my clothes are already picked out, my braids stayed in through the night, and i have gum in my pack. i wonder when my bags will get here. we step outside, and it's snowing. snaining is what steve says they call it. all i know is i have sandals on, and no assurance that my clothes will be coming anytime soon.

we leave the trailer for steve's house. we have some training stuff we have to do. new situations like these always make me feel like a dork. free time is frightening if you feel less than cool. so, i check my email. i write becky and i write the current love of my life, two things i was very hesitant to leave.

the next two days were a blur. i am still wearing the same outfit. my bags finally arrive in el portal. apparently, they decided to stay in vegas and gamble. finally, clean clothes, my own pillow, and some pictures of home i have been dying to see.

we get up early and go on a hike. steve stops at every plant and tells us what it is. he tells us how we know what direction we are going in by the vegetation...he knows everything about everything. the hikes kills us all, and we are not mad to find that a tree has fallen and blocked the bridge we need to get across the river. the boys go back to steve's house, and us to the trailer. it is time to pack for our big move to our tents in the valley.

cheese. picture time infront of tunnel view.

we arrive at the human resources building and go to a conference room in the back. we are all about to find out where we will be working for the next three months. "please not housekeeping, please not housekeeping...yes!" i got a job at the grocery store, known as the village store. the village store requires that you wear a short sleeved denim shirt, khaki polyester pants, a khaki belt, and black shoes. yeah. we will see how long that lasts.

tent assignments with wolf. wolf is a tall guys with no hair. his wife sent us over from uniforms to him. keys in hand, i step into my new home. tent #21 in boystown.

i walk into the fresno airport. it is smaller than lubbock's airport, if you can believe that. two luggage claims side by side and a few gates here and there, and you've got yourself the official yosemite airport. i am looking for a sign with my name on it...i feel so foreign. no such sign. but i do see two people smiling really big and waving at me. they must be my ride.

i have been waiting at one of the two luggage claims for far too long. crowds have dwindled, and my luggage is yet to be seen. after about an hour, we decide to leave without it. all i have now are the clothes i am wearing and my pack...which i am now wishing i had packed with essentials instead of cosmo magazine, my cd player, my bible, and gum.

two hours in a car with people i don't know, and i am not feeling so good. this is seriously awkward. making conversation with adults. "so......do you have any kids?? no. oh...." cool questions kim. you always know exactly what to say when you are nervous. i am still feeling really sick to my stomach, and do the exact thing that i have been nervous about all day. i ask the people that i do not know to pull off the road so i can throw up. good thing i didn't eat breakfast...or lunch. humiliated, i get back in the car. but i am feeling much better.

i am a day later than everyone else because my sister's wedding was the day i supposed to arrive. we pass everyone sitting by the river. i am glad that the people i am riding with have errands to run in the valley. it leaves me less time with the wolves.

my time has come. everyone is gathered around a picnic table. steve comes and greets me at the car. everyone's eyes are on me. and then it happens. the lady i rode with tells everyone that i threw up. thanks. thanks. that's exactly what i wanted everyone to know when i am trying to make friends.

dinner time at the chapel. we have a stand and meet session with the congregation. and i am informed that i am supposed to lead worship. now.

church is over and i ride back to el portal with karen, steve's wife. she reminds me of my mom.

4:00 AM. it's still dark. i am glad that i slept in my clothes, anticipating this early awakening. bags are packed and ready to go, but i don't know that i am. this is so new. so different. i check my carry on, making sure that i have the essentials. tickets, cd player, batteries, tickets again. with my bases covered, i load the car. the city is so dead at this hour. it will be a different story in an hour and a half.

the airport is cold and the rising sun is bright. this new rule of being to the airport 2 hours in advance should not apply to those whose flight is at 7. i have a good hour and a half to sit here and watch people...wondering where they are going...how they are feeling. i can't quite tell how i feel. did i make the right decision?

the plane is empty, but fills up fast. i have never flown alone, and to be frank, that is exactly how i feel. alone. i have no one to tell that take off feels like a head rush, to point out the grand canyon and the sierra nevada. it's just me, my word searches, and dashboard confessional.

las vegas airport. it's a nice airport with random stores and moving sidewalks. just big enough to keep me entertained for the hour i have until my next flight.

this plane is the smallest thing i have ever been on. there are maybe 20 of us on this flight, and i am feeling very sick to my stomach. a two hour flight consumed by my efforts to not throw up in front of the other 19 passengers on the plane.

i finally arrive. 8 hours on a plane to step off onto hot tar. feels like home.