such is my life.

September 29, 2003

okay. i am not like adam. i am not a man of my word. nor am i a man. needless to say, i did not post shout outs and out shouts on friday. my humblest apologizes. i was going to post "10 ways to know that you are a jerk in the gym," which happened to be msn's feature today, but instead, i will try to make amends with you, my faithful readers. so, here you go. the belated "SHOUT OUTS AND OUT SHOUTS!!"

-- i want to give a shout out to misty childress for springing for the chili's meal last night. it was a great meal indeed. chips and a chocolate shake. heaven.

-- i want to give a shout out to old friends coming into town for a day. even if you have only talked to each other's voicemail since april.

-- i want to give a shout out to communion, and the reason we take it. there is no other act that can so easily humble you, and cause you to celebrate your humility, all in one accord.

-- i want to give a shout out to getting paid in two days. no need for explination.

OUT SHOUTS

-- i want to give an out shout to being lactose intolerant. although i ate that chocolate shake at chili's for free, i paid for it later.

-- i want to give an out shout to not looking at the lights at the bank. and for pushing the button twice...only to back up and see that the light is indeed red. the universal sign for "don't use this line."

-- i want to give an outshout to my paycheck already being completely used up, even though it has not reached my bank yet.

-- i want to give an out shout to buying a three pack of paper towels, and getting them home, and noticing that you bought 6 rolls of toilet paper. no wonder the "three pack of paper towels" was cheaper than the one pack. i thought i was being a good shopper. eeeeh. wrong.

-- i want to give an out shout to the fact that i get dumber everyday. i was told today that you don't spell handling "handeling", and that amends is not spelled, or said "amense."

and there you have it folks. episode two of "SHOUT OUTS AND OUT SHOUTS!" for a copy of this transcript, copy and paste it to a word document, and then push print. and then send me $1.50.

September 25, 2003

so...because of my previous post, i set out...looking for snail facts. wondering where they live the days when it's not raining. so here are some sad snail facts.

--snails have really bad eyesight, and therefore, travel in circles the majority of their life.
--snails can live up to 15 years. 15 years of going around in circles!!??!! sheesh.
--snails can't hear.
--snails are both male and female. that's right folks...they are hemaphradites.
--snails breath...with lungs.

so, there you have it. still no information about where snails are the other 360 days out of the year. i think they are all in cancun.

the first rainy thursday three ever:

where do you feel like you should be on a rainy day?

--seattle

do you have any rainy day memories?

--i used to think that snails liked the rain cause they always came out of hiding when it rained, so i collected every snail i could find and put them in a huge bucket of water...if they crawled out...i put them back in. i am a mass murderer. i will admit it. (and by the way...where do snails live the other 360 days out of the year??)

what would you like to be doing on a rainy day?

--first, i would like to take a big, fat nap with the window open. i wish i could say that i would like to sit in my chair and read a good book, but we all know that's a lie. i just feel like that is what the "correct" answer would be. also, i would like to walk barefoot through the grass and the streets...splashing in puddles. just like when i was a kid.

tune in tomorrow for another episode of "SHOUT OUTS AND OUT SHOUTS!" (said in a really booming voice)

September 22, 2003

monday, monday...la la, la la la...can't trust that day.....

a day in the brain of kim:

yesterday, i watched identity. i probably won't ever watch it again, but it was worth one seeing...if you don't get freaked out easily, like some amatuers i know do. yeah. so i thought i was cool. i watched the movie in the daytime, with my sister, i covered up when i felt scary parts coming on. "ah...that wasn't so bad" i tell myself, and go on with the remainder of my day. 12:45, i arrive at 1C, i turn my light off, crawl into bed, and lay there. with my eyes closed. and my mind used my eyelids as a movie screen to replay identity over and over. and then my dog jumps on the bed and licks me. and then i remember that scary story where that guy killed those kids and their dog, and the babysitter thinks the dog is licking her hand, and then she finds a note later that says, "people can lick, too." oh heck no! i get up. the light is definately coming on. on my way to the light switch, i ran into my mirror. bloody mary. so...needless to say, i slept with the tv on last night, because i almost pooped my pants trying to go to sleep last night. and now you know you have seen the peephole version of how my brain works everyday. and pearce, i sincerely apologize for saying poop in my post.

September 19, 2003

welcome to the first episode of shout out and out shout friday!

i would like to give a shout out to heather and megan, who both have dates tomorrow. you better get kissed. (wink)

i would like to give a shout out to my new jeans, of which i spent $65.00 on. you better be worth it.

i would like to give a shout out to my new handmade scarf. you better be as cool as i think you are.

i would like to give a shout out to my parents for keeping my dog for the weekend. she better not come back.

i would like to give a shout out to God, for making yesterday and today perfect weather days. fall better be here to stay.

i would like to give a shout out to my co-worker, cindy, for buying us all breakfast this morning. she better do it again.

**********************************************

i would like to out shout boys that call for no reason. you better ask me out or leave me alone.

i would like to out shout people who turn in front of you during your green light. they better be glad that i got a new car.

i would like to out shout kelsey's who say that they will post new pictures, and don't. you better hurry up.

i would like to out shout cats that want to sit on the toilet with you. you better hope i don't move.

i would like to out shout the fact that i needed two more out shouts to even up with the shout outs, but i don't have anymore. you better like this post.

September 17, 2003

ok. i know. two posts in one day is a serious thing that only people like those of 2915 do, but it must be posted.

i saw the most loser show in the history of television today at lunch. i think it's called second chance. it's a tlc show...so you probably know the plot. blah blah and yada yada broke up "insert time period here" ago, and now blah blah realizes that they still want them. my guess is that yada yada is always going to feel the complete opposite and the show will have one season...like most of the reality tv shows should have. anyways...so today...this has to be a classic. they went to prom together...15 YEARS AGO. 15. no joke. she is still reading letters from him and stuff. yeah. that is psycho girl to the max. so she wants to get back with him. they meet...it's awkward for me and i am not even there. they sit down on a blanket for a picnic, and he says, "when we sat down it was really awkward." and then they show her and she says, "when we sat down, it felt really comfortable." she keeps talking about how she remembers how he held her...and keep in mind...it has been 15 years. so, she asks about his love life...and he does what any reasonable person would do when confronted by someone as mental as a girl in love, and he lies. he tells about this vague girlfriend. yeah, i don't know that it was a lie for sure...but there were no details...and i would not want that girl to know that i was single...that's for sure. so, she pretty much decides to wait for him another 15 years if she must. and boys, i hereby give you the right to not want to commit to girls. we really do think this way. although this has not deferred two gentlemen as of late. you know who you are.........and so do we.

so, anyways, if you happen to be home at 12:00 on weekdays, tune into second chances. it is quite possibly the most pathetic thing you will ever see. besides the post from september 2nd.

i am the proud new owner of a spaceship named quasar. all the other cars, yeah, they are just stars. but he's a quasar.

September 16, 2003

this is what becky had to say to me today:

milkmustache2003: it's funny that you are rocking out to cool music and crocheting at the same time

loser.

September 15, 2003

internet explorer. www.blogger.com. enter user name. enter password. stare at screen for a good 3 minutes pondering what to post on.

still staring at screen.

still staring.

now not making eye contact with the screen. this is getting awkward. i need to just get this over with.

hello all.

first of all, if you would look to your left, you will see a new addition to the blogging community...tyler trammel. go to his site...it's enjoyable. and if you can, fix his blog so people can comment. cause i can't.

speaking of comments...way to go klink family. we haven't been out of commission in days.

i took this retarded quiz the other day of "if you were in a movie, what movie would it be"...and yeah...i was supposed to have been in the pirates of the caribbean. uh...okay. if you say so. just as long as orlando bloom is my boyfriend, and johnny depp stays far, far away from me. and then, there was this other quiz, and it said i was the perfect girlfriend...apparently, if you are a girl, and you let your guy hang out with his guy friends and you don't get grossed out by boys being boys, you will always be the perfect girlfriend. anyone want to test the theory?? anyone??

at least people like to test the johnson's set up theory. it is our specialty.

at this point, i have decided that it is better for me to not post, than to post stuff like this.

and a shout out goes out to the dude and his new boytoy from rudy's.

September 12, 2003

first of all, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!" and let it be known that i don't use all caps for anything else than really cool things like LOL, and BRB. just kidding. internet lingo is for losers.

newly rekindled love: super mario brothers 2. come over to 1C anytime, and we will play some hard core s.m.b. 2. we can even make up really sweet names for one another like you do if you play halo. my halo name is BRB. halo. sheesh.

and now, yesterday i learned that alison t was a fan of my blog. so, i hereby title this section of my post "alison and kim". me and alison were best friends in the third grade...back when her last name was something different than taylor and she wasn't pregnant. she was the cool friend that had all the cool stuff....and i was the white trash kid that wanted to use/eat/play with all her stuff. i spent the night with her one time (that i remember) and we watched the movie witches and ate tiny chocolate donuts. it was rainy that day...but that didn't stop me from wanting to play in her playhouse...which i think she had gotten sick of a long time ago...kind of like the kids with trampolines would be. anyways...so we didn't go play in the playhouse, but we did listen to her new tape of michael jackson's black or white........then, alison moved. and we didn't go to school together anymore. our love died. or so we thought. then, many moons later, we meet again...in freshman orientation. i remember thinking that our professor had a crush on her. two weeks later, our class was over, and once again, our love died. or so we thought. years after that, she comes into my life again...starts dating my ex-fiance, jeff...marries him...and reproduces with him. see alison...look at our life. we were meant to be together. it was written in the STARS! (i had to capitalize that to show the emphasis...and when you say stars, you have to throw your hands in the air).........so, i am glad i didn't lose you in third grade alison. i am glad that we got to see each other when we were older...cause i know what we looked like in third grade, and it's a good thing we grew up.

and last...today i am going to play "if i was in paris, what would i do?"....

paris, france. on days like today, the brightness and clarity of the sun should not go unnoticed. i would wake up, throw a zip up sweatshirt on, leave the house, and walk, with my back to the sun, following wherever my shadow takes me. coffee or cider would be bought at a cafe on the corner and nursed the entire time of the walk. the air is crisp but comfortable, and my pace is not quite a mosey, but definately not labored. i would walk until my shadow had lost it's feet, and then i would go back to my loft. i am usually a girl in favor of dark curtains, but days like this bring back memories, and i must welcome them in. curtains are drawn, and the loft is quiet. a soothing quiet. not the quiet that lulls you to sleep, or the quiet that causes you to search anxiously for noise, but an anticipating quiet. i would make a bowl of cereal, and sit with my feet under me on the sofa, the sound of the spoon in the bowl still the only noise around. the sun's warmth is on my back and it's light causes everything in the room to have elongated shadows. i notice because i am paying attention. because i can finally take the time to see it. to hear it.

September 10, 2003

the majority of our christian walk, we are struggling to grow closer to the Lord...to not let sin entangle us...to be more than we are today, tomorrow. and yet, so often we are held back from growing, not merely from a lack of discipline or diligence, but by our reputations. by the fact that we used to struggle with blah-blah sin. we all have those sins. we all have those reputations. so why don't we let each other grow, to change? this i think might be one of the church's fatal flaws. that instead of spurring one another on to growth, we remind one another of what we used to be. focusing on one another's flaws takes the focus away from the most important aspect of all of our lives. the fact that the God of all creation showered us with grace, knowing not only the mess that we were before Him, but the mess that we would be after. so if the God that merely spoke the world into place does not condemn me for my struggles, but prays for me to break free of them, why do we not do the same for one another?

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

September 08, 2003

so, here i sit. another monday. another day where i thinks to myself, "i should post something new"...and i've got nothing.

me and beck moved into our new apartment on saturday. here's a shout out to all that helped:

seth
blaine
jordan
molly
"steph and jen"

and i put steph and jen in quotes, because they conveniently showed up just in time to eat pizza. a special thanks goes out to them.

i find it humorous that every part of our house is in perfect order, except my room. it's a disaster. i have decided that this means that i have just been putting effort everywhere else...that this does not mean that i am a slob.

note to self...do not sleep on the big sofa. the lack of padding in the center seat will make you feel as though you have placed your hospital bed ALL the way up at both the head and the feet...the cricks will be detrimental.

yeah, so it has been two days since i last watched the lord of the rings. the shaking has almost become unbearable. so, a house warming gift of the lord of the rings: the two towers....on VHS (a DVD player would go against our white trash heritage)...would be welcomed by any who choose to partake in the giving.

and, i still know a certain someone with a dog that needs a new home. anyone? anyone?

September 05, 2003

i thought this might liven up everyone's friday. there's nothing like a gross girl story. this is just about the best quote ever...

"did i eat knives for dinner?"...said about the farts that drag themselves down your intestines.

September 04, 2003

why is it so hard to give the things that we want over to the Lord?

September 02, 2003

so, i am sitting here at work, crocheting a blanket, singing to myself "i'm forgettable...in everyway" when it dawns on me how pathetic my "love" life has been. and therefore, here is a timeline of my "love" life. some of the stories you may have heard...some you may not. have a laugh...on me.

8th grade: yeah, so at this point, i have loved matthew cottrell for a good two years. we ride together all the way to camp. and then he asks me to save him a seat at dinner, and i call my mom to come pick me up from camp. 9 hours away. scaredy-cat stage.

9th grade: first date. david dailey. a boy i grew up with. so, it's a double date. he picks me up in his car, and his car seat keeps shedding on me. serious chunks of that big tan colored padding all over my outfit. a two hour wait. then we sit down, and we have nothing to talk about. i already know EVERYTHING about this kid. so, i talk to the date of the person i am with. cool. never going out with best friend from childhood again stage.

10th grade: nothing. except for chris kennedy (grubby to adam hoover) who should also be noted in 8th, 9th, 11th, and 12th. i always said no. i'm invisible stage.

11th grade: nothing. too wrapped up in studying for the SAT and taking dual credit classes. yeah. i was that kid. too busy trying to get into harvard stage.

12th grade: finally. something. names will be excluded from here on out to protect the other party. i go on a date. with a sophomore. that can't drive. so, i pick him up. can't believe i sinking to this level stage.

freshman year of college: i have a crush on a boy. a big crush. a "i am not going to my out of town school of choice for this boy" crush. yeah, so we are talking one day, and he says "i am a loser." i proceed to say "i think you are awesome." I THINK YOU ARE AWESOME???!!!??? yeah. but it doesn't end there. i say it again. "really, i think you are awesome." and there we sit. in silence. minutes pass. silence. loser, loser, loser stage.

sophomore year of college: i have a boyfriend that i can't call my boyfriend. long story. yeah. not that that is not cool enough in itself...but i call him one day, and he says "hey lauren!" lauren? hmm. so i say, "uh. this is kim." and four months later, him and lauren are engaged. no, not me...the real lauren. i am an idiot stage.

at this point, i can't go by years of school anymore, because i dropped out. but here is how it continues.

i have another boyfriend that i can't call my boyfriend. cool. those are the best. go away for the summer, and he's engaged 5 months later. i am STILL an idiot stage.

dating a boy. a boy i met in the above mentioned summer. he loves music. he's funny. he's pretty cute. he's mountainey...if that is a word. yeah. he's also a weirdo. we go to a movie. he walks in front of me the whole time. the lights of the movie won't turn off. he tells me to go tell someone. for some odd reason, we continue dating. i want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. we go out to dinner. go see a movie, and he nudges me to go buy my own ticket. and still he proceeds to walk in front of me. so much so, that when i see a friend of mine, and stop to talk to them, it takes him a good 30 paces to realize that i am not with him. yeah. it was over. the never giving anyone the benefit of the doubt again stage.

another guy. love his company. love it. we go out...sort of. and he tells me "you know i am moving right?" ouch. no. i was unaware. you could have told me four months ago before i planned our wedding!! the beginning of the i am going to be single the rest of my life stage.

and so, new guy comes in. we'd be great. we've hung out at least 5 times in the past 5 days. and last night he proceeded to ask me my name. the i'm forgettable stage and stage two of i am going to be single the rest of my life.

so, as of saturday, my spinster life will have begun. my dog and i will be moving in with my sister and her cat (who also has a similar "love" life), where we will live happily ever after crocheting and playing skip-bo.